i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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