then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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