dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
