I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
