I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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