I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
