Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
