ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My first STD was from a foam party
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
