I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
