you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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