she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dick has a subreddit
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
