I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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