Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
