Need sex. Gaining weight.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.