Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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(419): View more from Ohio

Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

In some strange universe, yes

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.

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(207): View more from Maine

We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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(385): View more from Utah

I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea

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