508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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