Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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