Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me i tasted like america
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm always down for nudity.
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