We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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