I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
