I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
