I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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