I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
