i already hear my dad disowning me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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