I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
