How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
