So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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