therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
