We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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