ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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