you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize