I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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