it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
