I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
