I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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