she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
