He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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