Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
