READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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