I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
