i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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