at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
