My hand turned me down
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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