Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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