It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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