Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif
  Replies (15) Good night (2644) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it? http://tfl.nu/1qwp
  Replies (16) Good night (806) Bad night (3184)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic. http://tfl.nu/6fkc
  Replies (9) Good night (4249) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d
  Replies (9) Good night (776) Bad night (3718)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things. http://tfl.nu/e6ox
  Replies (36) Good night (9407) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland" http://tfl.nu/fgmr
  Replies (44) Good night (4014) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning. http://tfl.nu/kt95
  Replies (24) Good night (5454) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi
  Replies (3) Good night (2465) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov
  Replies (13) Good night (2799) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break http://tfl.nu/zc4l
  Replies (4) Good night (1886) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal http://tfl.nu/u38b
  Replies (6) Good night (1991) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me http://tfl.nu/4f25
  Replies (15) Good night (1914) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We don't really communicate like that.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like what?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): We don't really communicate like that. (781): Communicate like what? (617): Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants. http://tfl.nu/kuit
  Replies (3) Good night (1721) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (397)

Randomize