Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Randomize
