Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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  (208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy. http://tfl.nu/3jyj
  Replies (22) Good night (1560) Bad night (604)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.

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  (770): FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot (770): Your boyfriend has good rhythm though. http://tfl.nu/p3nu
  Replies (15) Good night (5077) Bad night (517)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

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  (516): Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network. http://tfl.nu/5cas
  Replies (35) Good night (3266) Bad night (840)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.

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  (651): News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/z0bt
  Replies (7) Good night (4811) Bad night (607)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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  (704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1
  Replies (13) Good night (4856) Bad night (1070)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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  (206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1
  Replies (71) Good night (5603) Bad night (1223)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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  (651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd
  Replies (7) Good night (3228) Bad night (709)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?

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  (201): Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries? http://tfl.nu/cmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (905) Bad night (1235)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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  (816): There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/cxgm
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (421)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then

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  (865): I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then http://tfl.nu/yugg
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (348)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear

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  (774): My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/ln1o
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (291)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married

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  (508): he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married http://tfl.nu/dg6a
  Replies (10) Good night (615) Bad night (326)
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  (408): View more from California

  he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...

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  (408): he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit... http://tfl.nu/hynz
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (179)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?

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  (484): He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he? http://tfl.nu/wud6
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (235)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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  (903): And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention http://tfl.nu/er1v
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (184)

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