Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(703): View more from Virginia

using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.

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(305): View more from Florida

What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone

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