Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj

(910): View more from North Carolina

I think that's fair trade off

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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(618): View more from Illinois

i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.

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