I skipped work to stalk him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.