ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...