I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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