Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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