He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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