YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He passed out mid-signature
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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