Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
