so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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