I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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