apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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