is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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