i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
