Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
