people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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